dumb fucks

HERE’S an idea: let’s make Lewis & Clark even more of a cookie cutter fairy tale summer camp than it already is! Yeah! I know how! Let’s ban smoking! IN THE FUCKING OUTDOORS! That way we can make this bubble that we live in even MORE sterile and stale than it already is! Who cares about decency? Who cares about cooperation or compromise? Hell, who cares about giving someone a five foot fucking radius of peace and quiet? In this world we live in, we need to be as ruthless as we are ignorant. Let’s attack people who have made a personal choice in stead of getting at real issues. Sure, the oil companies that make the gas that powers my car and the electronics plants that make my iPods pollute the air I breath WAY more than a cigarette, but complaining about that would take way too much effort on my part. I say we attack those evil, less-intelligent-than-we-are smokers on our campus that have the audacity to walk to class while burning tobacco. I mean, do you know how DISGUSTING it is having to smell cigarette smoke as I walk from class to the library? I mean, who do these people think they are, exercising personal choices that may or may not slightly affect me out in the free air? Where’s the justice? Besides, I already know from reading so many articles in the PIO LOG how smokers are actually STUPIDER than people who don’t smoke. Don’t you think that it’s just a BURDEN for our school, filled with young bright minds, to allow these fuck-ups to negate all the smart things they’ve ever learned by SMOKING??!!! And I mean, GOD, it’s just such a fucking tragedy that cigarette butts get left on the ground and POISON our aesthetically hard-on inducing campus. I just want to walk to the BON after class without one fucking thing bothering me and sit down and have a nice glass of COCA-COLA with my lunch. I mean, fuck, it’s not like they’ve ever polluted anything, RIGHT? Fellow LCers, there is no time to loose! Let’s highjack the spotlight and divert attention from real pressing issues! To all you smokers out there: you’d better watch your back, because there’s a new boss in town and we’re not letting any of you unfortunate fucks smoke another cigarette when we’re around! No way josé, we’re coming for you! Don’t worry, we’re just looking out for you – all that we ask is to let us make YOUR personal choices for you. Trust me, IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

-ds