Heads Up, Guys: Asher Roth is Fucking Stupid

Unless you live under a carefully coordinated pile of rocks, or respect yourself (or something), chances are you've heard Asher Roth's hot new single, "I Love College." (and if you haven't heard it, you can make a surprisingly accurate estimate of what it's like just from the title) Well, on his personal website, I shit you not, The Daily Kush, Asher goes to describe how his suburban white self was introduced to the funky-but-not-too-fresh world of good old Hip Hop! He details hearing Jay Z's "Hard Knock's Life" in his friend's white Subaru, the Car Where Fresh and Innovative Ideas Go to Die. I think if Jay Z knew his music would inspire Asher Roth to explore the world of hip hop, he would have taken up finger painting, or rhythmic gymnastics instead. But no, dammit, we get to thank Asher's beloved Hova for unleashing the shit-awfulness that is "I Love College."

In his video, produced by the site that has won multiple Pulitzer prizes for being The Least Credible Website Ever, Holy Shit, www.HipHopOfficial.com, he drops an anecdote about how his family presented him with a framed copy of his mixtape and the cover of XXL featuring him for Christmas. Right before hey did their pre-Yule Turkey keg stands, and right after Asher's sister blacked out and accidentally tried to unzip Grandpa Roth's pants. Well, Asher, at least your family fucking likes you.

Mac Pogue

P.S. If you watch this video and don't immediately start crying blood, you have questionable ethics.