Coffee House Crawl

Imagine bar hopping without the hang over. Sounds glourious right? Well, this past Saturday a-COFFEE SHOP a-hoppin' I did a-go. Portland has a gargantuan plethora of quality coffee joints, all of which I wanted to take advantage of. Ergo, in a single morning I hit elven different coffee shops and one cupcake bakery (didn't even know PDX had one of thoes)! While in each shop, I observed the good, the bad, the ugly, and the kind of music playing. Most of the shops I stopped in were hip and with it, but a few were just plain bizarre or worse, bland as grape nuts. My coffee house crawl went a little something like this:

1. Portland Coffee House (SW Alder and Broadway)- Good: free sample of biscotti, super comfy chairs. Bad: busy, could use more staff and space, music volume was too loud, had to shout to in order to hold a conversation. Ugly: had to elbow through a crowd of bums to get inside Music: odd assortment of Kings of Leon, Mos Def, They Must be Giants, Tapes N Tapes, and Willie Nelson Best For: Mexican Mocha and people watching
2. Pete's Coffee and Tea (SW Washington St. and Broadway) Good: spacious, anniversary tea Bad: small chairs, music was too soft. Ugly: it's a commercial cookie cutter chain, staff was grumpy. Music: always Classical, romantic/classic era Mozart and Beethoven. Best For: people watching (you can sit at one window bar and and watch the people seated outside's entire conversation)
3. Bikini Coffee (SW 5th Ave. and Alder) Good: baristas in bikinis!? Bad: customers were both creep men. Ugly: hole-in-the-wall small. Music: none, the barista answered in response to my question "What sort of music do you play here?" with "Music? What do you mean, like people? No we don't really do that." Best For: oogling if you're into girls. (watch this)
4. Java Man Coffee (Chinatown) Good: fast service. Bad: everything else, opens to the street and is drafty. Ugly: airport coffee stand feel. Music: Doris Day and 50's Atlantic City Lounge music. Best For: if you're on the go.
5. StumpTown Coffee Roasters! (SW 3rd Ave. just past Oak St.) Good: local art, chic furniture, quality selection of magazines to buy (Adbusters, Paste, Vice), best dark roast, bike parking, turn tables! Bad: if you're not an inoculated hipster, you may not fit in here. Ugly: nothing, it's a beautiful place for beautiful people (just ask Colin Meloy). Music: vinyl baby! space for performance, Paul Simon, Tears for Fears, Patsy Cline, Quite Riot, Elliot Smith, Bob Seger, Duran Duran, Ratatat. Best For: hipsters.
6. World Cup Coffee & Tea (inside Powell's Books) it was silent here...very fitting for a book store. Music: none. Best For: reading whatever you just bought.
7. Sip & Kranz (the pearl NW 10th just past Johnson St.) Good: breakfast- the works oatmeal, apple cider, warmth and sunshine, across from a park if you'd like too oogle other people's dogs. Bad: the occasional screaming child. Ugly: there weren't actually any crayons damn it, I wanted to color. Music: Teddy Geiger Pop and last year's top 100 hits. Best For: Pearl district families and eating with your dog on the patio.
8. Via Delizia (NW Marshall St. and 11th) Good: friendly staff, faux Italian themed. Bad: faux Italian themed, doubles as a bistro. Ugly: nothing too bad. Best For: cheap n yummy gelato.
9. URBAN GRIND (NW 14th Ave. and Kearney St.) Good: EVERYTHING!, buckets of comfy chairs and ample seating, cheap and delicious coffee and baked goods, thousands of electrical plugs, free wifi, great meeting space, bodacious green walls, friendly staff, free magazines to read, quality, class, comfort. Bad: location, it's a trek from downtown. Ugly: nothing. Music: Classic Rock, beBop jazz, Led Zeppelin, Blizin Trapper, Miles Davis Best. For: Studying and getting shit done.
10. Pio Square Starbucks (Broadway and Morrison) Good: quick service but... Bad: long lines, it's a space to be moved through. Ugly: it's a commercial cookie cutter chain. Music: Pre-selected Starbucks Compilations, which are usually inaudible. Best For: waiting for the Raz out of the rain.
11. Grendel's Coffee House (NE Burnside and 8th Ave.) Good: steamed soy milk and cinnamon, perky staff, cheap eats, free wifi and free computers (if you forget yours). Bad: on a busy street. Ugly: nothing. Best For: posting event flyers, someone on a budget.
12. CupCakeJones (NW 10th and Evertt St.) $1.50 gourmet mini cupcakes...need I say more.

There you have it, my coffee shop hop. My head was a buzz and my feat were beat, but at least I can now give the thumbs up to Urban Grind, StumpTown, and Grendel's with some confidence. You could take my word for it or try these shops on for size yourself, find which one is your golden atmosphere. Go forth and coffee shop crawl my friends!

-mh