2. Outside of Real Venues -- If you can't beat them, don't fucking join them. There are many great places in the surrounding neighborhoods of real venues, why pay money to see White Fang sober? The Artistery, although they're dicklers about drinking inside the venue, apparently have no qualms with you hitting the brew once you set foot on their porch. And the Hawthorne, fuck it for all of its shittiness, has a great surrounding neighborhood in which to make future non-memories. Pet the cats if you're there. Drinking doesn't have to be a hassle, explore!
3. First/Third/Every(?) Thursday -- Feel uncultured, sitting there on your bed swinging a Ribbon? Why not get tanked and look at some fucking art? The Pearl District has some great galleries to walk around and pop one open in every Thursday, and being drunk is an awesome way to look like you're totally into this woodcarving of a hand giving a thumbs up. The drunker you get, the longer you'll stare at the art piece, and the more intellectual you'll seem. If you're so drunk it's hard to hold yourself up, people will just think the art is affecting you that much.
4. On the RAZ -- Not that it's ever done, but if I were really in a pinch and couldn't stand to walk around in the cold without some liquid heat, then crack a brew on the bus on your way downtown! Don't try this on the TriMet, because everyone will want in on your drink -- riding the TriMet sober is one of the more painful experiences for Portlanders.
5. That Parking Lot in the Pearl -- Why let bourgeois lofts and snotty mid-30's couples bring you down? There's a great lot in the Pearl to hang out in and do your thing, and why not go around town and discover
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