All of Me

--Lila enjoys an ocean skinny dip in a barren cove. Boulders confine the cove. Her clothing and accessories cover one boulder. As she swims she sings All of Me be Billie Holiday enchantingly. This may be what men once knew as a siren’s song, as she is a water nymph. Her song causes small strings going to pull unseen objects into the water. Jay finds himself pulled to the cove by one of these strings. As he gets closer, he looks for the song, until he is almost in the water. Her sight shocks him, but not vice-versa. She did not lure him on purpose, but this happens enough that she is not shocked.--

Lila- You took my kisses and all my love. You taught me how to care. Am I to be just remnant of a one side love affair. All you took. I gladly gave. There is nothing left for me to save. All of me. Why not take all of me? Can’t you see?… Hi there… welcome… Aren’t you going to say hello? You boys and your politeness. It always gets in the way of your manners. I’m not afraid, so I’m giving you a second chance… I mean now.

Jay -Hi there, I’m Jay, Jay Edward Howard.

Lila- Three first names?

Jay- Just the two. Howard is a last.

Lila- And unfortunate.

Jay- It’s not fair for you to insult my name, when I don’t know yours.

Lila- You’re getting better, but you can be more direct.

Jay- Fine. What’s your name?

Lila- Lila.

Jay- Lila…?

Lila- Just Lila.

Jay- Ok, just Lila, what brings you out here?

Lila- I was in the mood for a swim.

Jay- Plenty of places in town.

Lila- Oh… well I also like a good sunbathe.

Jay- Well that’s… oh!

Lila- Would it make you more comfortable if I emptied my purse for a swimsuit?

Jay- I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong with nudity to me, I’m naked all the time, I sleep naked eat naked, walk the dog… aren’t you worried someone will see you?

Lila- Why?

Jay- You’re supposed to be… decent.

Lila- And what if I’m indecent?

Jay- Well…

Lila- Why don’t you cool off a bit?.. We’ll be fine if we’re indecent together.

Jay- Another time?

Lila- I’ll pretend I’m blind. Besides, it’s not fair for you to be dry and me to be wet.

Jay- Names are one thing…

Lila- Then go. I like privacy or company, not this.

Jay- I felt compelled. Something drew me here.

Lila- That’s a surprise

Jay- This isn’t unusual.

Lila- Nope. Seems every time I relax, a boy like you has to interrupt me.

Jay- I’m no boy.

Lila- Really? Well then. Are you in or out?

Jay- It is a nice day.

--Jay tentatively disrobes and lowers himself into the water.--

Jay- Oh Sweet Mr. T it’s cold!

Lila- Get a little meat on those bones, like a seal, and you’ll be fine.

Jay- I’ll handle it.

--He swims closer.--

Jay- Watch out, we don’t want to get too close.

Lila- There’s plenty of room.

Jay- But it still is crowded. Why is that?

Lila- Humans crowd the most open spaces.

Jay- It’s not like you’re different… A ha! I knew it. You aren’t normal.

Lila- I do have some large feet.

Jay- No, I mean you’re not a person.

Lila- Sure. What am I then?

Jay- Something drew me to you. A song. Are you a siren?

Lila- Nope.

Jay- Harpy?

Lila- Same thing. And I had no intention of anyone interrupting my vacation.

Jay- But you are something? My grandfather warned me about the sea when I was a boy. Told me of beautiful women who lured you to your deaths. Are you a mermaid planning to drown my in the waves?

Lila- I don’t want to hurt you. I’m just relaxing.

Jay- Then why don’t you tell me?

Lila- Have some fun.

Jay- This isn’t.

--He swims to leave.--

Lila- Wait. I’m teasing. Have you ever heard of selkies?

Jay- You’re a seal?

Lila- Not exactly, legends distort things. As you see, I wear clothes not a pelt. I’m more like a water nymph, an Ephydriad like in ancient Greece.

Jay- My grandfather told me the story of the fisherman whose catch would grant wishes. He had financial issues, he had health issues, he had… issues. Said if he could catch one of you, his life would finally turn around and all his wishes would come true.

Lila- Do I look a koi?

Jay- No, but he said the fish was actually a woman. Can you do that?

Lila- Wishes? Sort of. The ocean has more than land could ever hope to offer. My people have a talent for utilizing it.

Jay- Any chance, you could grant me some?

Lila- Sure I’ll grant you a diamond mountain and rainbows of… Seriously?

Jay- It’s not important.

Lila- I didn’t mean.

Jay- It makes sense; you’re the other kind of nymph.

Lila- Other?

Jay- The wishes you grant are a bit more, in the present.

Lila- Jay…

Jay- Don’t worry, I’m gentle.

Lila
No. No, no, no, no, no. No.

Jay- Wait… what?

Lila- Sorry. You’re an interesting man Jay, but-

Jay- I see, “legends distort.”

Lila- I never said-

Jay- Sure. But if you aren’t going to eat my flesh or take me to your underwater kingdom, then why?

Lila- Can’t I just go for a swim?

Jay- You lured me.

Lila- For what? What makes you that special?

Jay- How should I know, I’m not a sea hor.

Lila- Jay Edward, get out of my ocean.

Jay- I’m not done with my-

--The waves rise an fall in rapid succession. Jay is almost smashed onto the rocks.--

Jay- What the hell you crazy bitch?

Lila- Get out!

Jay- Alright, alright.

--He climbs up, takes away his clothes and flees. The waters calm and Lila eventually resorts to her singing.--

Lila- All of me. Why not take all of me? Can’t you see? I’m no good without you. Take my lips I want to loose them. Take my arms I’ll never use them.

--Jay sneaks back in fully dressed and makes his way to the boulder. When he talks, she is the stunned one.--

Jay- Hey just Lila, I had a thought. My grandfather told me the selkies couldn’t return home if you had their pelt. And the mermaid had to obey the fisherman, because he caught her. So, I wonder, what would happen with these?

--He holds her clothing.--

Lila- Give them back!

Jay- Why?

--The waves rise again.--

Jay- Stop.

--The waves stop.--

Jay- So it works.

Lila- Please, I need them.

Jay- Sorry, they’re mine now.

Lila- No!

--She climbs atop the boulder and grabs her clothes. Jay runs away. She checks to make sure everything is there, but cannot find an earring.--

Lila- My…

Jay- Don’t worry. I’ve got it safe.

Lila- Really?

Jay- Yes, why don’t you come with me, and we’ll work something out.

Lila- Away from the sea? My family?

Jay- You’ll have a new family. Together we’ll make lovely kids and a substantial fortune. Right?

Lila- I…

Jay- You are coming with me.

Lila- I… I know.

Jay- Great, you follow me now. And put some clothes on, you look like a joke.

--Lila dresses in her clothes. They resemble kelp and her jewelry resembles the animals that live on it. Jay beckons and Lila, without any resistance, follows. She knows in this moment, she is hopeless.--

The end

written by Nicholas Seyyed