10. Mayhem – Dawn of the Black Hearts
Live bootleg from this legendary Norse black metal band. Not actually that brutal, or even good for that matter, but had to be included in this list because of the many absurdities surrounding the band. One member is currently serving time (not a life sentence, I might add) for murdering another bandmate, and numerous members have been convicted of burning churches. The scene featured on this album’s cover is the band’s former singer, Dead, headless and bloody on the ground after shooting himself with a shotgun, pictured to left of his corpse. \m/
9. Corrupted – Se Hace por los Suenos Asesinos
If you consider Sun O)))))))))))) to be the masters of drony noise doom, then you probably haven’t heard Corrupted yet. Long, discordant, unrealistically slow, and creeeepy as fuck. With only three songs and probably less than five chord changes, Se Hace… brings the heavy to the minimalist genre like a Viking skullfucking a lifeless Phillip Glass.
8. Ire – What Seed, What Root?
Classic metal without shitty metal influences. Ire probably listened to more Born Against or Cursed than they did Celtic Frost, but still make brutal music that is definitely not hardcore and definitely is metal. This album was released by CrimethInc. back in the day when Requiem and Catharsis still toured, so you know its heavy. The liner notes probably come with instructions to shellbomb a building or kill a police officer, but I’d suggest finding it for free somewhere on the internet and not supporting an organization that sustains itself by feeding off of the naïve delusions of seventeen year old anarchists.
7. Graf Orlock – Destination Time: Tomorrow
You’ve got to respect a group of film school dropouts who love movies so much that they dedicate their band to celebrating them. And not just any movies… Destination Time: Tomorrow continues the celluloid drenched saga of time travel, shooting xenomorphs, and fighting terrorism. Featuring the likes of gems like Aliens, True Lies, Lethal Weapon II, and The Terminator spliced seamlessly between crushing musicianship, and ending with an epic interpretation of the Jurassic Park theme, this 10” will undoubtedly leave you balls deep and wanting more. And no, it’s not a joke.
6. Asschapel – Fire and Destruction
The only punk album I’ve included on this list, Asschapel was just too perfect to leave out. Sludgy, fast, slow, heavy, riffy at times, and very, very, dirty.
5. Mind Eraser – Conscious/Unconscious
With the third full length from the Northeast’s Mind Eraser, I have to say I was a little surprised. For a band that usually plays ten to fifteen songs in less than twenty minutes, I wasn’t exactly expecting a two song LP that clocks in at just over the twenty minute mark. This is, however, without a doubt the band’s best work to date. Taking all that all that is good about powerviolence and stretching it out into one giant sludgy masterpiece, this band has proved that they are modern kings of brutal music.
4. Nirvana – Bleach
Had to include it. Maybe you don’t want to admit it, but if you like good music and don’t like Nirvana then you are probably fucked in the head and should stop listening to music. Bleach was released in 1989 and was Nirvana’s first album, but has a pretty dramatically different sound than most of their other stuff. Sludgy with lots of distortion and also features some of Kurt Cobain’s best lyrics. One of only two records ever released on Sub Pop to go platinum. I might add that the other best selling three records released by that label are Flight of the Conchords, the Postal Service, and the Shins. Fuck sub pop nirvana rules.
3. Sleep – Dopesmoker
It’s one song. Its sixty-three minutes long. It doesn’t really change. It has skulls and pot leaves on the cover. So. Metal.
2. Eyehategod – Dopesick
Formed 4/20/88. One of the all-time most dope-as-fuck classic sludge metal albums ever, Eyehategod are demons who punish the world with brutal music and drink whisky with Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden in hell. Reigning from New Orleans, Louisiana, this band throws the blues, metal, and punk in a gangbang and shoots heroin in the corner as they jerk off and watch. If you think that you can come up with a more badass and completely fucking legit sound in another band, then you are definitely wrong. Eyehategod is better than your favorite band. I’m sure of it.
1. Cryptopsy – None So Vile
This album gets my number one spot. What has now come to be considered a “benchmark” of technical death metal, None So Vile was just the second full length from these Canadian legends. Featuring the vocals of Lord Worm (who actually ate lots of worms out of a metal chalice at shows), None So Vile is the standard to which all other death metal albums are compared to. Stunning musicianship, undecipherable lyrics, and enough blast beats to kill a small child, this is the most brutal album I can think of.
-ds
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